Survivor: Celebrity Island

Hi, my name is Beth and I’m a Survivoraholic.

I don’t watch a whole lot of TV, but when I find a show that I like, I tend to get a little compulsive about it. Through the years, there haven’t been that many that made the cut, but the following did:

  • The Andy Griffith Show: You can’t possibly be surprised by this. I told you right from the start that I’m nerderrific.
  • General Hospital: Once upon a time, but not for ages. At the height of my obsession, I scheduled my college classes around GH. Later, I scheduled the kids’ naps around it.
  • Saturday Night Live: Sometimes. Sometimes not so much.
  • Sisters: I loved the ladies with boys’ names. Plus, a young George Clooney sweetened the deal.
  • Seinfeld: Yeah, me and everybody.
  • Will & Grace: I ♥ Karen and the clan.
  • Everwood: Really good. Really gone. :O(
  • Boston Legal: Smart, biting, socially relevant, incredibly inappropriate humor. Loved it and mourn it still.
  • Grey’s Anatomy: No big surprise here. Everyone’s addicted to this one.
  • Modern Family: Lovity-love, love, love this show.
  • Survivor: It’s brilliant, really. Same basic show every season, but because it’s essentially a huge social experiment with a new cast every go around, the unique mix of contestants keep it fresh and addictive.

When they are sorting through applicants’ videos, Survivor producers need to choose a great blend—the clashes, romances, connections and conflicts are what keep those ratings up. You’ve got to have some sweet young flesh of both genders, at least one really lazy player, one useful but abrasive type, a couple of really big egos, an underdog, a geezer, someone with a really big chip on their shoulder, a manipulator, a blind follower, a rube, and a nutjob. Voila! Magic. Pure television magic.

I’d like to see a season of all celebrity contestants and I’ve been giving some thought to potential players. Some possibilities:

  • Susan Lucci: She’s about to have a lot of time on her hands and it would be cool to see her go 39 days without make-up.
  • Pauley Perrette: I love her as Abby on NCIS and even more when she’s herself. Cool chickie.
  • Alicia Silverstone: Vegan, eco-conscious, charming, and not the least bit clueless.
  • Selena Gomez: Gorgeous and capable. Beware.
  • Star Jones: Creepy VonCreepy.
  • Jack Nicholson: Gotta love Mad Jack. And he only looks crazy.
  • Betty White: Just because I ♥ Betty.
  • Ellen Page: The dorkalicious ideal.
  • Natalie Portman: Perfection.
  • Jamie Lee Curtis: More than month without Activia. Uh-oh.
  • Bette Midler: Senior citizen, my ass. Always divine.
  • Katie Holmes: Let’s just call it a Tom Cruise intervention and deprogramming opportunity. She’s young; there’s still hope.
  • Charlie Sheen: C’mon, you know you want him there.
  • Will Smith: The anti-Charlie. He’ll class up the joint.
  • Jewel: Toughness wrapped in fragility. She’s secret weapon material.
  • Bernie Madoff: Stuff happens way out in the middle of nowhere. The cameras can’t be rolling all the time.
  • Pippa Middleton: Can you say record-breaking Neilson ratings?

Considered, but vetoed:

  • Mel Gibson: Yes, we need an obnoxious dirt-bag, but not one who deserves zero publicity.
  • Whitney Houston: She has an, um, previous commitment.
  • Sean Connery: At some point, he’d be shirtless and one peek at eighty-year-old man-boobs could kill all of my steamy illusions about him.
  • Justin Bieber: My granddaughter requested him, but I think you have to be old enough to vote/drive/shave to get on the big plane and camp out with the big boys.
  • Madonna: I’d love to see her there, but only if I could also send my friend Elaine. While I think Elaine is a superstar, she hasn’t yet reached full celebrity status (give it time).
  • Susan Sarandon: I dig her, but I think she’d win, hands down, and that wouldn’t be fair to the lesser contestants.

Okay, those are my choices. Who would you like to see on Survivor: Celebrity Island?


  1. Ohhhhhhh, I want to see THAT show !!! :)
    Have I mentioned lately how much I love the way your mind works ?? Tee hee hee ! Can we please throw in Matthew McConaughey......just so I can have some major eye candy ?? ;-)

  2. Donald Trump. And the cast from Gilligans Island. I think the latter would want to get voted off so they could be "rescued" and finally get off that darn island.

  3. My husband and I are huge fans of 'The Andy Griffith Show.' We began watching classic TV when we were in our early 20s. We're in our 40s now and we still watch reruns of 'The Andy Griffith Show' EVERY DAY. That type of TV was so good, we can watch an episode 100 times and still enjoy it. My favorite is when the gorgeous character, played by Barbara Eden, visited Mayberry and caused a stir with her good looks. As far as contemporary TV goes, 'Survivor' is one of our favorites. I want Boston Rob to win this time.

  4. I think we should throw together a show that includes Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Fergie, Me, Clint Eastwood, that lady (whoever she is) who jogs past my house, and Boston Rob.


  5. I loved Andy Griffith and all those other classic sixties shows. They just don't make em like that anymore.

    I'm not much of a reality show lover so never watch "Survivor". I got a kick out of your suggested celebrities to be on the show and everyone else's suggestions like Sun Singer's. LOL!

  6. @Sunshine: Matthew McConaughey. Check. :O)

    @Stephen: I like the Gilligan folks, but The Donald? Really? Okay, Trump it is.

    @Jolie: My hubby & watch it all the time, too. And on Saturday mornings, I try to catch Leave it to Beaver when I can. It's hard to pick just one, but I think my favorite episode of Andy is the one when Opie kills the mother bird with his slingshot and then raises the orphaned babies.

    I'm rooting for Boston Rob, too!

    @Malcolm: The lady who jogs past your house, eh? Interesting.

    @Cathy: They really don't. My guess is if one of the networks put out an ultra-clean sitcom, it would be a huge flop.

  7. I am sooo with Sunshine on this one Matthew McConaughey indeed! And if they didn't send me along if Madonna made it to the island, you can bet I'd be in her luggage!!! :)

  8. Definitely sounds like a news worthy cast. You reminded me of Luke and Laura, oh, so many years ago. I watch American Idol, that is my "survivor" equivalent. As a kid, I watched the Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, and the Fonz.

  9. Beth, I swear we must be kindred spirits. Your fave TV list reads much like mine and the fact that you put Andy at the top...well, I live in NC and TAGS is the holy grail in our household.

    As for Celebrity Survivor, how about:

    Rosanne Barr
    Sean Penn
    Rush Limbaugh
    John McEnroe
    Tom Cruise
    Naomi Campbell
    Lindsay Lohan
    Simon Cowell...
    It could be called, "Survivor: The Island of Dr. Moreau. The challenges could be thinly veiled medical experiments!!

  10. Awesome post (from another Andy Griffith nerd, lol) I used to manage a small bar and had all the old men watching reruns of that and "Family Affair" daily, lol.

    I finally weaned myself off Survivor this season. It's the first time I've not watched. I was too tired of Boston Rob and Evil Russell. Now I'm sucked into the talent shows... I love them!

    P.S. If you put Mathew McConaughey on that island I'll watch it religiously! :D

  11. The only show in my adult (or adolescent) memory that had a MUST WATCH hold on me was The Monkees. I lived for that show and was frantic if my mother didn't call me in on time to watch it. I watched M*A*S*H faithfully and I thoroughly enjoy American Pickers, Pawn Stars and Ghost Hunters, but I don't even know what nights they're on to remember to watch them. I just view them either in reruns or through On Demand. Right now, Food Network is on, but the only show there I want to catch regularly is Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. I especially don't like reality shows (sorry) like Survivor, The Bachelor/ette, or Jersey Shore (an abomination!)

  12. Sisters!!!! I miss that show!
    Your list kicks ass too! I bet Jack Nicholson could straighten out Charlie Sheen and his tomfoolery!
    I am probably the only person in America that never watched a single episode of Survivor.

  13. @Elaine: Okie-dokie, Matthew McConaughey is a definite yes.

    @KBalbify: The day that Luke & Laura got married, the Student Union was packed, which pretty much meant that the classrooms were empty. I like American Idol, but I steer clear because I can only afford so many addictions. ;O)

    @Cyndi: Ooh, I love your list!!!

    @meucci24: Family Affair! I loved that! I dragged my Mrs. Beasley doll everywhere. :O)

    There was another show I liked a lot as a kid. It had Kristy McNichol in it, but I can't remember the name and I'm too lazy to Google it. One of those family shows--really, really good.

    Russell was almost enough to make me stay away from Survivor this season. Hideous man. (It was kinda fun to see him booted, though...)

    @SJerZGirl: M*A*S*H was great. Few shows are that good, even in reruns. And I forgot about the Monkees! Too funny.

    @DWV: Wasn't Sisters great?! Oh, and don't watch's the Bejeweled Blitz of television. ;O)


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