Anyway, these are the some of the phrases that people typed into search engines over the past few months to land themselves at my blog. I'm always a little baffled at some of what comes up.
rabid dog wanted: Um, no. No rabid dog wanted here. Half the time, I barely want the super-cute, fluffy, decidedly not-rabid dog I already have. By the way, the time I’m speaking of pretty much covers said dog’s waking hours.
birthday cake man with no hair: I’ve got nothing.
gilligan with glasses: I can totally see this one.
bakery in heaven: I would certainly hope so.
improving with age: Why thank you!
kids naked in snow: As I explained to DCFS, they weren’t naked. They were wearing swimsuits in the snow. And nice warm boots.
i want to sell joan rivers on ebay: Who doesn’t?
dragon with balls: Is there any other kind?
patty millionaire: That’s what I’ll be changing my name to after that Lucky Lotto thing comes through. I think it’s important to be discreet.
i accidentally got my sister pregnant: I categorically deny this.
baby jail: Maybe, but that’s not a term I use when interviewing potential clients.
joy marijuana: Another phrase I avoid during interviews.
the wire clock code: I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
That’s all I’ve got, folks. Let’s do this again a month from now. Unless Johnny Depp calls, of course, because then all bets are off.
Image courtesy of Linda, who was kind enough to go to her fridge and take a picture of her whipped cream so that I could use it here. Thank you!